The Hidden Bestiary

You’ve come at just the right time. This is The Hidden Bestiary, a semi-private archive of my various emotions, encapsulated as tiny ASCII monsters. Each monster represents a specific fear, and for each, there’s a brief description where I discuss the fear and the ways I’ve learned to cope with it.

     .
      :
     ss   /\/\
    SSS  (.. =)
  _│   │ o o  \
 (_│___│ O  O  >

I chose ASCII because it’s a cute, lo-fi way to express my idea. These tiny monsters represent how my once-overwhelming fears have shrunk over time. Now, they’re little more than strokes on a keyboard.

It’s no secret that horror can serve as a safe outlet for many people to explore emotions they don’t have a good way of expressing otherwise. I’m certainly no exception to this.

Keep in mind you can only peruse this page in a witching hour. It’s called “late night rumination” for a reason, isn’t it?

Bad Ideas

         _
     _   ))      
    ((   n      OMFGWTFBBQLETS
    ( n  0 _)  PLAYTOYSNOWLETS
    (    __)    PLAYYAYAYAYAY
   (   (   U   YAYAYAYAYAYAY!
 (     )          
  (    )          
   (  )
    ))         \       _
 (=======)    / \ nnnn| |
 /       \  _/___\_   | |
 |       |  =(0 0)=    /
 \_______/     [ [  [ [  prl

You will know what works and what doesn’t, and feel bolder for having tried at all.

Being Formless

        
        
        
     ______
    /      \
    0 n 0__/
  ( )nnn  ( ) 
   \  0 0  /  ______
    \     /  /      \
     (    )  \__0 n 0
      )  )       nnn
      ( (    __0  0_\  _
       ';.  );  ____/_( )
            UuuU______(_) prl

There is a home for you, no matter how buried it may be beneath the bones.

Being Seen

        
        
        
         11      
      /_______\   
       =(. .)=    
         U U 
    -'         '-  
  /  /\       /\  \
 /  /__\  _  /__\  \
 |       /_\       |
 \  \____   ____/  /
  \_ \__/   \__/ _/ 
    \___________/ prl

Because you’re constantly inside yourself, it’s easy to think other people are inside you too.

Being Too Much

        
        
       /\/\ 
(VVV)  @  @  (VVV)
|   |   vv   |   |
|   |_\\__//_|   |
|      (;;)      |
|                |
|       /\       |
|   ___/  \___   |
|   |        |   |
|   |        |   | prl
| __|        |__ |
|(              )|

“Too much” can mean “too much effort for the other party to be bothered to spend.”.

Being Unsightly

               ____     
   __ ___     (    \    
  /_ /  _\     ) Uu \   
    o o( ]]]  /  uUu |   
  (:Y: (  / _/  uUuU |   
    V  |  \  )  UuUu |   
    \   \  \ |  uUuU |   
_____\__/\__)|___prl_| 
)____
     |
     | 
     |
     |
     |

You don’t have to be understood to be lovable; many things are unsightly but provoke love.

Being Untrue

          _(
        _)  \_________
      _)     \        \
     _)       \        \
    _)         )        \
    )  _      (     /\  /
  6   ((_     _____/ /_____ 
 66  / '(____\__     \   _(    
 6  (           (o)    _(__
 66  WwWwWwWwW\          _(     
  6  mnmnmnmnm \        ( 
     OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo 
    OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo    
   oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

You know when you’re being true to yourself and others. Lying is a choice.

Losing Control

          /\
        |V  \
        |  d \
        )   ,_\  
       /     (
 (VVV /;.     \ (VVV)
  \   /;.      /   /  
   \   /;.   \    /    
    ';;/      ';;'___
      /   __    ______)
     /   /  \   \ prl
     \  /    \_  \
     ) (       ) (
    [[[_/     [[[_/

Everyone loses control, but it’s about what you do afterwards.

Missing Out

        
        
        
        
        
       /\/\          
     =(q__q)=        
       )++(          
       \#@#\         
        \+*+\        
        /#@#/  /\/\    
       /+*+/ =(. . )=  
       |#@#|    | \  _
       |+*+|    || \|  prl

You’re not.

Needing Help

        
        
        
        
        ___
      (]_]_] /\/\  
      /  /  /\_  \  
     /  /  (o_x|  \      
     \  \__|   |__/  
     ___    ___    \ 
    /    \ /   )   /
   /  /   /   /   / prl
  /  / \ /   / \  \__  
[_[_[_ [_[_[_) ( _]_]_]

It’s okay to need help. Everybody needs help, especially the people that don’t want to say it.

Pleasing Others

        
        
        
        
        
        
                    < o)
                    /) |
   ( o >           /m_m
   /) |    /\__  /      \\
  / mm____(x__n)  R.I.P  ||
  (_(______    \   prl   ||  < o)
           (===/         ||   \ (\
          .nNNNn...nnNNNnn...  mm \

Ask who makes you happy and who doesn't. Then keep the people who try for you, and reject the ones that don't.

Stagnating

        _))     
       _) \\    
       ) .-\\-.
      _)   @ ___\ 
     _)_\   /VVV 
     )__/  /   
      |    |          __o_o
      |u   |========0( _ __)
      |vu  \          U u u
      |uvu  ^^^^)
      |vuvu  (__)
DoD   /vu  _ (__) 
 ))__/ /  /  /    prl
(______\MMM MMM

Check that you feel like you belong to yourself.

Taking Space

        
        
        
        
        
        
      '_ -/-:-\- _'   
        '---|---' 
            |          
    _   .--n-n--.   _    
   / \/\ mMmMmMm /\/ \   
  / \ \ \.-   -./ / / \  
 / / \ \ (.:::.) / / \ \ prl 
/_/   \   \/ \/   /   \_\

You were born to take space. Every living thing needs space, not just to survive but thrive.

The Hidden Bestiary FAQ

“Are there any more pages like this?”

Maybe there are, maybe there aren’t…

“Can I submit monsters?”

This is more of a journal than a collaborative project.

“Did anything else inspire this page?”

I love monster mashes and anything black-n’-neon as is, but Neil Ciecerega’s *Monster Breeder* had very inspiring visuals. My best friend also loved the idea and wanted to see me come out of my shell some more, even if it’s on a secret page!

“Do the monsters have names?”

Not for now.

“Don’t you think this is a bit personal?”

No.

“How do the monsters feel about being here?”

They’re cool with it.

“How do you make your ASCII art?”

I use ASCII-flow with my tablet and port it into Notepad for the finishing touches.