Exhibition of Dragons, Gargoyles and Grotesques

Part One: Dragons

• Introduction
• The Ivory Japanese Dragon (Meiji Period)
• The Dragon Statue on Pole, Hamilton Gardens
• The Dragon Lanterns, Château de Kernigsburg
• Monumento a Giulio de Castillo (The Amphiptere)
• The Carousel Dragon, Terrelloric Carous Museum
• The Wawel Dragon, Kraków
• The Merritt Island Dragon, Dragon Point, Florida
• The Dragon in My Dreams, James Rolfe / AVGN
• The Fuente del Dragón, Granada
• The Regent's Bomb, Horse Guards Parade
• The Dragon Bridge, Da Nang, Vietnam
• The Stanford Dragon (3D Graphics Test Model)
• Dragons in Love Statue, Varna, Bulgaria
• The Dragon at Markham Castle
• The Two-Headed Dragon Grotesque, Lady Chapel, Lichfield
• The Big Green Dragon, Carrieville, Tennessee

Part One: Dragons

Introduction

This is my exhibition of all the statues and sculptures near and dear to my heart. As one can observe, I myself am a gargoyle, so I feel it's only fair to talk about my kind, and adjacent creatures, for the line does get quite blurry given how many dragons are gargoyles and gargoyles are dragons. I'm also being completely inaccurate in this because, obviously, gargoyles are just grotesques modified with, okay, we all know what we're meaning. So, this is a recording. This is a test, this is a draft. I am dictating, and we are going to be going on through and looking at pictures, statues, etc., of dragons and gargoyles and whatever. So this recording is about to get monstrously long, so let's start out here. I'm only talking about the ones that I enjoy.

The Ivory Japanese Dragon (Meiji Period)

Okay, we've got quite a lot of these already. Well, this one's very small, actually, but we'll talk about it anyway. This is a dragon made of ivory and mother of pearl. It dates from the Japanese Meiji period, and the plaque claims that these were very popular in that period. The most unusual example, this one I'm talking about here, is composed of 134 separate pieces held together by a system of springs. So everything here is articulated. This is kind of the precursor to the moulded action figure. And what I really love is just the sheer amount of detail: the creases and the dragon's cranial regions, the scales, the way the fire zigzags, and when you look closer, you can actually see all the segments. It does take a bit to try and find them, but you get a feel for them. It kind of reminds me of a really artistic version of those clacky wooden snake toys. You know, the ones where you'd be swinging about and messing with them and having them hiss and jump up and be scary, and then suddenly while you're playing with the damn thing, it sends you to the pinch realm and you never recover from this experience and feel the need to talk about it on a website. So yeah, this is a gorgeous, gorgeous creature. Ivory, I can confirm, is a very unusual substance. I have seen and encountered things made of ivory before and it's naturally very smooth, but it gets warm in your hand. It's not quite like marble, where it always goes cold. But I'm looking at the thing, just all the creases and contours in the face. Like the antlers really do have the texture of deer antlers, with the knobs at the bottom, you know, like roe deer antlers. And it's just such a majestic little sculpture. It's just absolutely beautiful.

The Dragon Statue on Pole, Hamilton Gardens

Now, this is a rather standard dragon statue, all things considered. This one is a dragon statue on a pole in the Garden of Hamilton Gardens. And that is the rose I can see above it, that's a combination of the two roses. And this dragon, by itself, is not very, on one hand, it's not particularly assuming in that way. You look at it and it's, you know, it does what it needs to. But what I find fascinating is the way the snout seems to be kind of separate from the teeth. What I really enjoy about dragons like this, this one on one hand is quite average, but these little traits elevate even seemingly common designs. It's got almost like a beak, but the thing about the way the teeth, like the snout overhangs the teeth, but it's not an overbite. So it almost looks like there's another creature wearing that dragon's upper jaw like a helmet. Like it's actually quite creepy, but it's very cool, and I love the way the teeth meet at the front there. And the curves in the motif are very appropriate. It's a very visually harmonious design, even if it is quite plain and apparently quite small. It's one of those things where you think it wouldn't draw your attention or give you something interesting to say, but you look closer and there it is.

The Dragon Lanterns, Château de Kernigsburg

Oh, we've got some dragon lanterns. Oh, these guys are adorable. Okay, we've got to talk about these. So these, oh God, I can't pronounce this for the life of me, Château de Kernigsburg. I don't know. I can see it in German, actually. I'm not bad at it, it's just... So these are like little lanterns and they seem to be, oh, let's just get a closer look. I can't quite tell, maybe they were holding lamps at some point. I'm a little bit confused. No, they are not holding anything. What I like about these dragons, like this little one here, he's got a kind of silly-looking duck bill. He's also got a disproportionately huge tail compared to the rest of his body. It reminds me of an iguana mixed with a duck. And I think it's just a fact that he has the exact air of like the seagulls of every British seaside town ever trying to murder you for your chips, you know. It's the exact same vibe, and the stupid little tongue, and I really like what appears to be a gem of sorts in his eye. I don't know what it would be. It's this brilliant green, but I'm looking at it and it reminds me of misericords, where there's a little devil in the details, and I'm definitely seeing that vibe here. Like, it may be surprising to some that countries as aggressively Catholic as France could ever embrace monsters as a part of their imagery. But, you know, they were actually very much common, France being one of the biggest hotspots of gargoyles in the world, honestly. But it's just like, he's just such a silly little one. It's like you could tell he would be tidy. And even if he is bigger than you'd expect him to be, he looks ridiculous. I love it.

Monumento a Giulio de Castillo (The Amphiptere)

Okay, this one is more like a mixture of a dragon and an amphiptere of some kind. So you can see, I can't pronounce it for the life of me, but it's when a dragon has the front legs of a dragon and the back end has a snake tail, with no back legs, but it still has the wings attached to its shoulders. What I really like about this one is, even if I still may not consider it as much of a dragon, the fact that it's still classified as a dragon is just a good reminder that not all dragons will assume the same shape. Sure, some dragons have more avian traits, given the similarities of birds and reptiles and obviously going back to dinosaurs, you know. But I like the fact that you have more mammalian dragons in the mixture as well. And I think felines and dragons are just so intertwined. They're all intertwined in our folklore and mythology. You have what I believe is the heraldic panther, which is actually, I believe, said to consume dragons. And then, of course, you have the dragon and tiger, both the Azure Dragon and then the White Tiger, but then you also have the general dragon versus tiger motif of China and Japan. So dragons and felines were actually quite mingled. And then even going into pop culture, Smaug from the Hobbit, well, the Lord of the Rings universe, in one of his first animated appearances, he was designed to be very, very catlike, which is interesting given that the original Smaug was actually very serpentine. So it's almost like people connected the dots between the cat's sort of temperament and its desire to assert itself and they kind of looked at this and said, you know, and then looked at big cats and said, this is very much like a dragon in that way. It's got the personality. So that's the end of part one.

The Carousel Dragon (Terrelloric Carous Museum)

Okay, back a bit with more dragons. Here we go. This dragon is for a carousel, and he is incredibly colourful. Now, there are a fair amount of dragon statues that just have these vivid colours. But I think what really strikes me about carousel figures is, naturally, they have to really go out of their way to make something eye-catching. You know, like you have to want to ride on it. You have to want to feel very spectacular on one. And this one, I mean, you've got the blue gradients at the top of the head, which kind of stays on the tops of his body, almost like a piebald motif. And you've got like these incredibly detailed, devilish, lizardy eyes. There's something about the way the carousel makes everything look kind of lurid and dare I say, grotesque in its own way. The something about the way things shine. It's about the airbrush quality that I'm not sure whether to be marvelled by or almost strangely disgusted by. It looks like the kind of thing you'd see almost in a nightmare, in that light, it's hard to explain where everything is just too saturated. It's too much, but you can't look away. And I think that's interesting to think about in the context of a dragon, obviously a fantasy creature. But I also really like that it has this strange, not necessarily tropical feeling to it, but the colours do remind me of a tropical animal, almost like how, you know, obviously birds and if we again consider the connection between birds and other things. But I really like the shininess. I'm biased towards the carousel medium, but the shapes are really distinctive. They really do stress that this is a sort of hellish beast in a way, but then hell doesn't have to be fire and brimstone or a lack of colour. Evil, malice, can come in bright blues and yellows and greens. And I find it absolutely fascinating. I swear to God, every carousel dragon looks like it came out of a Boschian nightmare. It's awesome.

The Wawel Dragon, Kraków

The Wawel Dragon, yes, this is at the foot of the hill in Kraków. Yes. Okay. All right. So basically, this is a dragon. It was installed in 1972 and every 15 minutes it breathes fire. That's right. This thing, honest to God, just belches out tons and tons of flames. And the funny, worst part is I went to Kraków once and I missed it. I would have never known a thing existed and now I want to book a trip to Kraków again ASAP. Like, first time I went to see Auschwitz. Second time, I'm coming for this dragon, specifically. But yeah, spending my idea of a 16th birthday was begging my family to take me to Poland so I could see Auschwitz and I, to this day, simultaneously have no idea what possessed me, but also I am very proud of myself for choosing such a historically significant and sad location. But yes, my sweet 16th was at Auschwitz. But so now you know.

But yeah. I'm just looking around here and oh my God, they've changed it so that you can use a text message to activate it. Oh my God. At least 2,500 requests a day. Oh my God. And then it just happens every five minutes. Okay. So it is based on a historical dragon, except they turned it into a sort of doohickey, a sort of gizmo. And I really like that. I like taking something that's historical and turning it interactive in a way that perhaps is a bit spectacular, and maybe some might find it a little gaudy, but I would rate this one as a solid five out of five. I mean, could it do with a bit more detail? Sure, but also this is a statue that breathes fire, so I'm personally happy. I am very, very content with a statue that can breathe fire. And I know that there's no shortage of animatronics and dragon statues that breathe fire, but this seems to be one of the earliest known examples I could find so far, and also just look at this thing. Like this was before it kind of became a thing in parades and stuff.

The Merritt Island Dragon, Dragon Point, Florida

Oh my God, this one looks ridiculous. This one looks stupid as, oh my God, oh, it doesn't exist anymore. No. No, no, he's dead. Oh my God, rest in peace, King. Oh my God, I'm so mad. What the hell? It's so ugly and stupid looking and shitty. Oh my God, this thing looks absolutely wretched. But like, okay, so this thing was in Florida. It was in a place called Dragon Point, kind of by some lagoons and stuff, and the whole thing is that it was built in 1971 by an artist, but then it was badly damaged, then collapsed into the water during a storm. I'll have to figure out what storm that was. But yeah, and then vandalism was also apparently contributing to the destruction of this statue, which, given that this is Florida, I'm not surprised. I mean, this is the most Florida thing ever. It literally had four kids called Joy, Sunshine, Charity, and Freedom. And it was just cribbed out of the Flintstones. Like, you've got to be kidding me, but like, this is the most American thing ever, an approximation of European culture mixes in both American commercialism and American patriotic values, and then it just sinks into the sea. Says a lot about our society. Oh my God. Maybe it's a metaphor for something. I don't know. I'm dying. I'm screaming. I love it. He's so shitty looking.

The Dragon in My Dreams, James Rolfe / AVGN

Okay, so there's another one here. Now, this one gets an honorary mention. So I am an Angry Video Game Nerd fan. And this thing looks absolutely hilarious. This thing looks stupid as hell. Okay. All right, so the Angry Video Game Nerd, you know, James Rolfe, AVGN and Cinemassacre, he makes a video called "The Dragon in My Dreams." So I think this one was in New Jersey. I'll try and figure out where the hell "The Dragon in My Dreams" was actually located. So James Rolfe grew up with this dragon and he was petrified of it as a kid, but then he also became like obsessed with it. And also this is something that took me a while to find out: he's actually, I think he's autistic. So he develops a sort of fixation, like a genuine special interest, you know, and it possibly went on, I think he says it went on to help him get into horror and stuff. So he attributes a massive amount to this dragon. And then I look at it and it looks freakin' stupid. Okay, so I think what destroys me about the dragon is that it's not even a full dragon. And obviously, of course, the safety issues that come from having something, you'd have to design it very carefully for a children's playground, naturally, because children are absolute geniuses at getting themselves hurt. Ask me who put a sprinkler on my trampoline and then promptly got about a billion head injuries from that. It probably explains everything, but that and going to Auschwitz for my 16th birthday explains a lot. Okay, so this thing, it kind of looks like a brachiosaurus. That's the best way to describe it. But the fact that it's just a head sticking out of the ground is slaying me. No pun intended. And I get that this was meant to be a fountain. There's nothing wrong with that, and I know that there are some fans of James Rolfe who think it's very cute. Others think it's a little bit overwrought. But you know, other people are just like, what the hell is that thing? And I'm thoroughly in the camp of "what the hell is that thing?" I am absolutely of the idea of what the hell is that thing. It's very silly. And the video that James made was not only where he was talking about it, he also actually goes to the park while construction is happening and it was being remodelled. And he has this moment while the builders are probably quite confused, and they're just probably wondering why this guy is here filming the dragon and petting it. But James goes up to rest a hand on it and, I mean, don't get me wrong, it is very sweet, in a way. I can tell he really was very earnest about this. I can't hate a man for being earnest. I really can't. But also, imagine his point of view. I'm sorry. The thing is hilarious. I love it. It's so goofy looking. The Dragon in My Dreams, indeed.

The Fuente del Dragón (Fountain Dragon), Granada

Oh boy. This was the dragon that made me write this page. Meet the Fuente del Dragón. This dragon lives in Granada and he has very big wings. So this dragon looks like he's emerging from this fountain with his very big wings and he's also got an extra wing, you could say it's a wang. And this thing is spurting water. So this fountain actually has its own thing. So, yes, it's a dragon urinating, ejaculating, the water is said to contain aphrodisiac properties, so I'm leaning on the latter, and it's honestly incredible. This is one of the best things I've seen in my life. I feel like they, the city that this dragon lives in, they need to make merchandise of him as soon as possible, preferably a life-sized version that I can have in my room and do indecent things to. That would be splendid. Thank you.

Now, of course, his very big anatomy aside, let's talk about this dragon's design. It kind of looks like one of the Skeksis from The Dark Crystal. It definitely has that feeling to it, like a Jim Henson sort of thing. But I'm really, really surprised by the presence of hair on this dragon. Now, don't get me wrong, dragons with fur and hair on them is not an overly modern concept, you know, it's a thing that's existed for quite some time. But the thing about this dragon that I find quite interesting is the way that it follows the pattern of human chest hair. And I find that incredibly, I'm gonna try and be normal here, guys. I'm really trying to be normal here. I'm looking at his oddly human chest, his pectorals, the outlines of his ribs through his skin. You can almost imagine the feeling, the texture, the guff. Yeah, I'm sorry. I can't be normal about this one. Five out of five. He can go and counteract the fire-breathing dragon. He can go put it out with his delicious water. And speaking of which, Bad Dragon needs to make a dildo of him. I'm just saying, it would sell like hotcakes.

The Regent's Bomb (Mortar on Dragon Carriage), Horse Guards Parade

The Catinat Memorial, also known as the Prince Regent's Bomb, is an early 19th century French mortar mounted on a brass, come on, that's a dragon, Wikipedia. Located in Horse Guards Parade in Westminster. It was first, quote unquote, "exposed to public view" in 1816, and it has been a Grade II listed building since 1987. So to explain something here that we have in England, a listed building is a structure that has been deemed especially historically important, and as a result, it is absolutely crucial that they stay up no matter what. They are legally protected structures, you know. It doesn't stop bad things from happening to them necessarily, but it's like you can't interfere with them. There was in the Midlands a pub known as the Crooked House, and it got burned down, and people had a lot of ideas as to why. So just because it's listed doesn't necessarily mean it's protected, but it's still just something to know.

So the monument was a feature of many satirical verses and cartoons in the early 19th century, because back then the word "bombe" was pronounced like "bum." And this gave it an immediate association with the notoriously fat Prince Regent, later George IV. So people were like, "lol, his ass." Okay. So it commemorates the raising of the siege of Cádiz in consequence of the glorious victory obtained by the Duke of Wellington over the French at Salamanca in 1812.

Oh my God, this is beautiful. Okay, so basically a bunch of Georgian-to-Regency era, this would be Regency by now. Actually, no, this would still be Georgian, just very late Georgian. Georgian and Regency are kind of a big old mess because he's also a George and then he's also a Regent. He's very confusing. Who gives a shit? Okay. So the whole thing, there's an illustration saluting the Regent's Bomb, unveiled on his birthday, by George Cruikshank. He was a political cartoonist still around at this time. Oh, Jesus Christ. So it's like, instead of the creature, it's the Regent, and yeah, oh, Jesus. It's like shitposts. It's like memes. And the problem is that there were loads of fart jokes and poop jokes and puns. It's wind and wind and bread and monstrous size. The poet laureate would sing of the charming odour of the thing. You know, like, oh God. And they were just writing poems and making fun of him. "Thing" being a slang term for a penis. Oh my Lord. Oh, God of mercy. Oh, this is a great one. Need I explain why this one is here? I mean, historical context, overly specific poop jokes, fart jokes, dick jokes, I am a child. We're all children here. You know, I can't help myself. I mean, there are no standards. Just look at this thing. Okay, let's move on.

The Dragon Bridge, Da Nang, Vietnam

Okay, this is in Vietnam. The River Han is a bridge with an arch beam and wire combination steel structure in the shape of a dragon crossing the river, and it was the world's largest dragon-shaped steel bridge. One of a kind, indeed. Oh my God, the thing looks humungous. Oh wow, oh that is rad. That is cool. Oh my God, it breathes fire and water each Saturday and Sunday night at 9 PM. What? That's so cool. Oh my God. And it gets lit up as well at night. Oh, that is gorgeous. I love that. Oh my Lord. I like that.

The Stanford Dragon (3D Graphics Test Model)

Okay, this one is quite famous. This one is pretty well known. This is a free 3D test model. It is a sculpture, a very tiny, teensy, weensy one. This one is the Stanford Dragon. It's a computer graphics 3D test model created with a Cyberware 3030 Model Shop colour 3D scanner at Stanford University. So the data for the model was produced in 1996 and it is over 871,000 to 414,000 triangles. So yeah, it's often used to test several graphics algorithms, including polygonal simplification, compression, and surface smoothing. Very similar to their bunny that they have. And this whole list of common 3D test models that people use, it's a whole little rabbit hole of itself, you know.

Dragons in Love Statue, Varna, Bulgaria

Ah, now I do know the Dragons in Love statue in Varna, Bulgaria. Yes, okay. I don't know the backstory behind this one here, but it's two dragons holding a heart together and they're right by the coast, I'm assuming that is the Black Sea. And yeah, it is absolutely gorgeous. It's just so intimate. And, you know, monsters aren't really depicted as loving other monsters. A lot of monsters are often depicted as just ravishing humans. So then you just see these two dragons content with each other, and they're standing like people, they are actually very anthropomorphic. What's interesting is that even although dragons are often depicted as quadrupeds, these can easily read as anthropomorphic. So, you know, I could definitely say this would have quite an appeal with furries, or rather scalies, in particular. Also, as you look at them, you may notice now, obviously these dragons don't have any human characteristics of sex, but if these two dragons are the exact same species, which they seem to be, this could be sexual dimorphism. So whether or not this is a male or a female dragon, or whether the distinction is actually between the faces, and therefore we have two gay dragons, well, I guess it's up to the viewer. Dragons in Love. It's especially beautiful when you see pictures of them in the sunset. Just a lovely, lovely statue. It's wonderful.

The Dragon at Markham Castle

Okay, got another unusual dragon statue. This one, for what it is, is quite strangely stylised. This one is at Markham Castle, and it does seem to have a whole load of dragon motifs and things like that, and dragons are very prominent in the county park nearby, I'm guessing. And what I find interesting about this one in particular is that it is strangely human-like, very much like the dragon couple. But it's got this incredibly unusual posture, this very long torso, but then these very short legs, but then the arms are quite long. Its tongue seems to have a spade instead of a fork on the end. And I really like this thing's posture. It looks very, very measured. It looks very calm and collected. And I like just the posture of this thing. There's a very strong shape language to it. It's very cool.

The Two-Headed Dragon Grotesque, Lady Chapel, Lichfield

Okay, here we have another one yet. This one, I believe, is in Lichfield. As the person says here, one of the gargoyles adorning the exterior of the Lady Chapel, all were replaced in the Victorian restoration, but the eroded ones have been replaced very recently with new sculptures, like this two-headed dragon. What I like about this one is definitely the very feline nature of its face with the very front-facing eyes. But I also like how, at certain angles, it doesn't really look like it has two separate necks, but one neck that then goes out into two heads, which I find very visually interesting, even if this isn't actually the case. While it's a newer statue, it definitely blends in with the rest of the surroundings. And I also really like the fact, even although by grotesque standards it's quite conventional, for a dragon statue, in terms of a dragon statue, you know, I like it quite a lot. Also, the head ridges are quite unusual. It almost looks like each head is wearing a sort of helmet. And I think it just helps to make it a bit more distinctive from other dragons that often just have the ears. Grotesques and gargoyles are known for pushing the envelope with their creatures.

The Big Green Dragon, Carrieville, Tennessee

Okay, so we're on Roadside America now. Here we go. Carrieville, Tennessee, the Big Green Dragon. Since the 1980s, a hand-built, very large, colourful green dragon with tiny wings and tinier arms has advertised an adjacent fireworks store. In May 2011, the store burned down, but the dragon survived. I'm shocked that it didn't burn down earlier given it was next to a fireworks store in Tennessee, but I digress.

Okay, so the whole thing is the dragon is behind a Dollar General. So imagine getting some groceries and seeing this thing. But yeah, he's really, really big as well. Like he's huge. But what I love about this thing is it has the proportions of a T-Rex, like a really, really goofy one. And he's got like these very thin lower legs. He's very caked up, you know, as any good dragon design has, he's got a really fat ass, but then his legs look just like they can't carry that weight, and it's very silly. Not to mention his lower belly has these little heart-shaped kind of patterns on the belly scales, but you can see the ridges on his belly, kind of contouring it. And it always kind of looks like the belly patterns are incomplete, which is also just kind of funny. And he's got tiny little T-Rex arms as well. It's so ridiculous looking. Honestly, I think American dragon sculptures always come out the weirdest every single time. Like, I don't know what he is, but American artists and sculptors just make their dragons look like this.

The Dragon Slide, Munster Park / Laguna de San Gabriel

Okay, Munster Park. Built in 1965, Laguna de San Gabriel Playground has delighted children throughout the years with its colourful, oversized cement sea creatures that add slides, climbing structures, and fodder for imaginative play. Kids have dubbed the place Munster Park and Dinosaur Park because they can slide down a giant concrete dragon, climb over an eight-foot tall octopus, and cavort with cement dolphins in the sand. So this dragon slide is honestly something I would have loved as a kid. So he's wrapped around a lighthouse and naturally he's not very tall, but he makes up for it in charm. You slide down a groove in his back all the way down through his cranium and then off his snout. I don't know if he's still up as of now, but again, bonus points for being in the children's park. Obviously, you know, children need all the hands-on interaction they can get. They need things that are not plain. They need things that are bright and colourful and provoke their imagination and do so in a safe manner. To make the outdoors whimsical like this, I think, is especially important given how technology has introduced itself into so many childhoods nowadays. I think this stuff is more important than ever, if anything. Very cute. We like Munster Park.

The Dixieland Dragon (Lawn Sea Monster), Location Unknown

Here's another one. The Dixieland Dragon, Lawn Sea Monster. So this is next to a suburban house and it is a big sea serpent slash dragon. It is made of scrap metal, and this thing is interesting for its location, but also its proportions. Now, on one hand, its top-heavy shape, with the top of the head being so large, is a given, honestly. I mean, you would need a lot to try and keep the thing supported up there. But I'm also just looking at this and thinking about the fact that most dragon heads are proportioned quite simply, even although there are lots of animals with strange proportions, and you'd think that for a fantasy creature you would see something a little bit more like this, even if here it could have been built out of purely practical considerations. I'm also looking at the fact that it has this strange kind of fish-like quality to it, which on one hand should be a given as it is a sea monster, but the silhouette about its face reminds me of a pike or a barracuda. And I just think that's very interesting. You know, like on one hand it's supposed to be modelled off a classic European sea serpent dragon, but then I'm looking at it and it's a little bit abstract, which, of course, I'm a little bit more inclined to think was just the limit of the medium. But then I look at the fact that it's got fins on the side of its head, so who knows?

The Kaskaskia Dragon, Vandalia, Illinois

Here we have yet another fire-breathing dragon, in Vandalia, Illinois. The Kaskaskia Dragon. So this dragon definitely has the proportions of a few childhood toys I had growing up, so we're already quite fond. But this one has a very flat, geometric appearance compared to the Wawel Dragon. And as I'm looking at it in particular, the one thing that I find kind of cute and endearing is how sometimes it wears a little hat. He wears, dare I say, a stovepipe hat. Very good idea. But also, I think there's another really interesting thing to think about, both in terms of practicality and design, in that, well, it's been blackened from the years of breathing fire. Visitors report that the flame is so quick you have to have your camera ready before you put the tokens in and get it to belt out some flames. I just think that's kind of interesting to think about because, of course, if a metal structure is belching fire, it's inevitably going to affect things and cause chemical reactions in the metal. But think about the fact that, imagine that, if it was a real dragon, imagine a dragon that after so many years of living and breathing fire began to show its age through the markings on its snout, that even although it is heat resistant and obviously this was built to take all the punishment, just imagine that for a second. Let yourself think of that.

The Dream Dragon, Lincoln, Kansas

We also have a dragon in Lincoln, Kansas, the Dream Dragon, or the Farm Equipment Creature. The Dream Dragon, the largest dragon ever made from farm equipment, is 60 feet long and 20 feet tall. The tail could move up and down in the wind and it also has a night image created from reflective tape. There are several creatures alongside him as well.

The Big Dragon Slide, Storyland, New Orleans, Louisiana

Also, we have New Orleans, Louisiana, with Storyland. The 26 fairy tale statues and buildings of Storyland were built in the '50s by famous Mardi Gras float maker Blaine Kern Jr. So there's basically all sorts of fairy tale creatures, but we want to know about the dragon. By far the most popular fixture, thank God, is the Big Dragon Slide, where you climb up his back and slide down the flames coming out of his mouth. Unlike the other dragon slide, this one is a more traditional upright dragon. He's more like a statue in that way. And you know, given it was made in the '50s, it realistically wouldn't have been as inclined to think about safety. I mean, obviously, you wouldn't want to take a bad fall down it. But I really like the spin on this because all of them could just be climbing up the dragon and sliding off his back, which wouldn't be bad, but I love the variation here. And I don't think I've seen something like this until I laid my eyes on it. The more you know.

The Scrap Metal Dragon Duo, Union, Maine

Okay, so the opposite of our dragon couple is two scrap metal dragons in Union, Maine, having a scrap. So apparently there was also a blue moose and a dog attending the flagpole statues. Why are they there? Who knows? Who cares? The dragons look absolutely hilarious. They're basically just a bunch of tubes fashioned into vaguely dragon-like shapes. They're more tail than anything else. And I just imagine these proportions on a living creature. Just thinking about the constraints of having to build things out of scrap metal, just looking at these tetanus-producing machines is slaying me.

Rusty the Dragon, Argyle, Minnesota

Here we have yet another fire-breather. This one is from Argyle, Minnesota. It is a rusty dragon and it's actually named Rusty. Rusty the Dragon. So it was allegedly built by a retired machinist and he stands over 10 feet tall, so not as big as a lot of the others, but I think his colour scheme is very, very pleasing. Not to mention there seem to be bones all around him, which I think is just such a fun touch. I think some of those are actually cow skulls as well. So, you know, he's definitely getting his vitamins. I also like the fact that he has the crest and it kind of looks like the fire he breathes, it just pulls the whole thing together. The wings are very spindly and silly looking, but that's kind of a given when you're working with scrap metal. And of course, I really like his proportions. Some of the dragons do look very top-heavy and sometimes of course that works, like the serpent, but others definitely look like they could be knocked over by a bad breeze, and sometimes I'm surprised they're still standing at all, like the one in Tennessee. But this one here looks genuinely sturdy, and I like the fact as well that, like, you can tell this thing weighs over a ton, yes, but it feels very lifelike. Like it doesn't feel like a bunch of tubes. But like, this one is just genuinely well made. You know, ignoring the constraints with the wings, you look at it and you think that would translate really nicely into a creature. It's a very good design. It probably wouldn't even be bad as a reference image for a drawing.

The Tail of the Dragon, Deals Gap, US-129

Here's another pretty notable dragon here. This is the Tail of the Dragon. The Tail of the Dragon serves as somewhat of a warning to motorcyclists about the potential for accidents, nearby is a Tree of Shame. Every piece of motorcycle under the tree is said to have been sourced from the accidents. So, basically, it's cause and effect, if you will. What I also find very interesting on this dragon as well is just the fact that it says without words what you're going to expect. What it is actually warning you of is Deals Gap, a motorcycle hotspot on US-129, with 318 curves in just 11 miles of road. So, yes, the tail end is the statue that reminds you of the ride you're about to take. And it's just reminding you to stay safe and not have your bike end up on the Tree of Shame. Also, if you look close enough on his tail, oh wait, there's a separate dragon tail. Ah, that's how it earned the nickname the Dragon. Okay. And yes, there's a separate one where you can actually see a road marking on a tail. It's a separate tail.

The Sports Dragon, Cortland, New York

Here we go. We have one in Cortland, New York. Okay, so it's a symbol of a sports team and he belches smoke every time the home team scores. But people like him even when it's not happening. So this dragon, I think, looks very funny. His eyes appear to be very close together, or at least that's the angle I'm looking at. On one hand, he's a rather standard dragon design, horns, frills, you know, quadruped, wings on back. But the fact that he breathes smoke specifically when the team scores, and then also just how silly he looks. He's got this really pointed snout, like a lot of medieval dragons. They kind of look like dogs or sharks. It's a very funny kind of look to them. Like he's got this little sniffle, this little sniffer. It's very goofy. It's very silly. Thank you, Cortland, New York.

The Spore Creature Dragons, Real Steel Gallery, West Valley, New York

Okay, West Valley, New York, Real Steel Gallery. Okay, this one is silly. So there are several dragons and I don't know which one looks the silliest. They have these really tubular eyes, these silly whiskers... It kind of looks like a Spore creature. Like, it has the exact anatomy of a Spore creature. And I think it's just a reminder that not every dragon necessarily has to look threatening. I don't know what it is with the scrap metal sculptures just looking the funniest, but man, and of course it breathes fire. Of course it does.

The Purple Dragon, Duncannon, Pennsylvania

Okay, this one is very pretty. Duncannon in Pennsylvania has a large purple dragon, and this one isn't especially goofy looking, but I find it very endearing. I love the fins on the side of its body. I love the maroon and, actually, it's more purple than maroon, my bad, but I like the curls. I like the way the fins go. I like how the face looks kind of serpentine, but it still has this sort of fish-like look with the teeth, and the curve of its snout is very satisfying. The spikes facing forward is definitely not a typical choice for a dragon, but that's just what makes it stand out from the crowd. Why is there a purple dragon next to a sign for Burgundy's Innovative Cuisine? I have no idea. Is it advertising the restaurant? No idea. It's just there.

The Green Asian Dragon, Providence, Rhode Island

All right, going further east to Rhode Island. In Providence, there is a large green dragon. He is of the Asian variety. I can't quite tell you what kind of Asian dragon he seems to be, though he's giving a very strong Ryū feel, what with his head proportions and googly eyes that, yes, face adorably in opposite directions. I love his positioning. I love that he's interactive with the building the way he is. It reminds me a lot of plant pot decorations you can get nowadays of creatures kind of holding on to the sides. And also, I'm very interested as to why he's an Asian dragon here. I'm obviously not hailing from Rhode Island. But I just really love the fact that, you know, it just makes the place feel more alive. And I can't imagine what it would be like to look up at this thing and just see it goggling down at you like this. The eyes, I think this thing is cool, but the eyes are just the cherry on top.

Fury, the Stainless Steel Dragon, South Lake, Texas

Now, here we have South Lake, Texas, with the allegedly largest stainless steel dragon. His name is Fury, apparently, and he is 28 feet tall with a 40-foot wingspan. So he is allegedly the largest. I love his kind of shiny chrome appearance, and while he is a fairly standard dragon design, he is a white wyvern. I also just love his posture. I love the way the light catches. And of course, he is indeed the largest.

The License Plate Dragon, Bountiful, Utah

Then Utah has decided, in Bountiful, that this dragon would have a bountiful amount of license plates. He is made of nothing but license plates. And he's honestly very cute. He's sitting quite relaxed, with his eyes apparently closed, with his hands rested on his corpulent dragon belly, with his strangely human-looking legs, and a very oversized head. Why license plates? Why not?

Erasmus the Dragon, Renton, Washington

Okay, we've got Renton, Washington, with Erasmus the Dragon. So, Erasmus the Dragon rests patiently on top of a building that he cracked after descending from the sky. Allegedly. His eyes and mouth change colours depending on his mood, and he likes to breathe smoke. So, yeah, he is apparently just a short 20 minutes south of Seattle, actually. And he's quite a recent dragon, he was erected in 2019. And he's made of aluminium and glows in two colours. The idea allegedly came from the building itself, which was cracked and saggy from old earthquakes and looked as if something heavy had landed on its roof. So it was complemented by a dragon. When you have something cracked, put gold in the seam.

The Dragon of Marshfield, Marshfield, Wisconsin

Okay, Marshfield, Wisconsin, Dragon of Marshfield. Let's see. There's a bronze dragon. So he's called the Dragon of Liberty, and he was created in 2009. So he's kind of like a Statue of Liberty, but a dragon. And he's got a very strange, lumpy kind of body. He kind of looks like a Fabergé egg with some limbs stuck to him. But I like his posture. I like the way that he's not just facing straight, but his head is tilted. And I like the weird pinecone look that he's got with his tail as well. Of all the dragons, you'd think this one would actually breathe fire, but it doesn't. Very tragic. Let's donate some money and figure out how to make it breathe fire.

The Skeleton Dragon, Dinosaur Valley Minigolf

Okay, there's a new dragon score, a Dinosaur Valley mini-golf, 22 feet by 11 feet high, painted gold. So the skeleton dragon is made of steel. And yeah, it's pretty rad, honestly. We need to see more skeleton dragons. We absolutely do need to see more skeleton dragons. So that is all the dragon sculptures found from Roadside America.