About Me

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About my Sona

Sanguine is a blue glittery Gargoyle and my digital costume. They were created in late 2020, and their design's remained largely the same since, ignoring their previous colour palette, which was a sunset-inspired red-to-purple scheme. Now, their scheme's modelled off the colours you see in blue hour, a thing that has a great emotional significance to me. Sanguine is gendervoid like I am, and uses the same pronouns I do. They also have a personality similar to mine, albeit exagerrated to comedic effect. My friends know me as a conscientious, albeit obsessive individual. I come from a history of perfectionism and unease about my existence. Sanguine is this tenfold, even in their very design. The colour blue is often used to symbolise sadness. Their horns are not a proud crown of bone and keratin, but instead they point downwards. They don't have claws, but big, plushlike paw hands. Even their eye markings, which were based off a combination of corpse paint and crescent moons, gives them a consistently morose expression. In short, Sanguine is a performance of self-awareness, just as much as they're an idealised digital stage persona.

I made them a Gargoyle because I have a long history of liking chimeras, hybrids and other such creatures. I find more conventional species too limiting, but that's just for me specifically. I also picked a gargoyle as I'm a huge fan of gothic art and I felt this was the best way to encapsulate that. I don't envision myself as a vampiric entity, but more of an onlooker, a prop to the vampire set. Vampires are just too much for me to see myself as one. They're big, bombastic creatures with planet-sized egos and centuries' worth of mental baggage. Instead, I'm more akin to a Castlevania enemy or a creature you'd see in a line of 70's monster toys. I'm side dressing, I'm an observer rather than the main feature. It's modest, perhaps overly so, but it feels right for me. It's what I feel suits me the most as a goth.

You're also likely noticing a distinct absence of the words "fursona", "furry" or even "funny animal". I'd describe myself, and Sanguine here, as furry-adjacent at most. The answer for that's simple, back when I was a furry, I couldn't relate to other furries. I felt distinctly like something else. But then...depicting myself as a human, or even with much of a grounded form is just too unbearable for me. It's just not who I am, to present as anything less than fantastical.

This Website

This site is my personal haunt, library, and link collection. It wishes to be familiar, the same way as a beaten, wood-panelled interwar house with the servant bells still intact. It wishes to be a place of both rest and intrigue. A place of progressive thinking and sentiment, awareness amongst the pining. As I've said on the homepage, the lair updates at pure random and thus, doesn't expect you to check it often. Come and go as much as you please; I don't owe you anything, but you don't owe me anything either. We can exist on the same level and take our time together. Above all, and despite the cobwebs, I want this lair to feel homely. There's a lot going on outside of this place, so I hope this humble darkness can soothe your weary bones. If we wish to observe eachother, and you want to see beneath my veil, you can. Do be gentle though, I am shy you know.